When you love someone who no longer loves you, or never did?

and they are completely out of your life, but still in your head: Is it abnormal to accidentally seek other people like them, and to look for them in someone else? It seems like this is a bit abusive toward the surrogate lover. Do you have to wait several years and take brain damaging drugs; forget the person, then start from scratch to have a normal relationship? If so: Would not the pathetic anti social morning and drug abuse stray you further away from mutual love than the one sided affair. Obviously I'm not talking about sex, so; there is no such thing, and emotions have at least been allowed to flow, and I am asking if allowing someone to fall in love with you who you do not love is abusive. Maybe I'm saying it is, and am asking why someone would do it, and how someone would properly recuperate from it without abusing themselves or someone else.When you love someone who no longer loves you, or never did?
Time heals. Seems bad now, but I went through some too. In time it will get better.





I personally think you don't have to forget the person in order to get rid of your aching. Unfortunately it ended up that she couldn't see me anymore. When you love someone who no longer loves you, or never did?
It is called self-controll, human nature not to want to hurt another person, love for your fellow man or woman not to inflick heartache on another person. If you need drugs to be human then that may be why you cant have a normal relationship.


Yes it is very abusive to pretend to have feelings for another person that you dont have!!!
you should just take some time for yourself and concentrate on you, and before you realize it you will no longer think or try to find that person in someone else. Do things you like and enjoy!!!! someone else will come your way .
its not uncommon, but is bad for your psychiatric health.


just move on and try to find someone that loves you the same way you love them.
i say move on
Yes, that can happen. Yes, it is unfair to the other person.





The best thing a person can do for themselves is to first find the love that one seeks from others within oneself. If you are completely self loving and self maintaining and love is not a carrot for you to grab after, then the love that you choose will be healthy.





There is a really good book called the ';Mastery of Love'; by Don Miguel Ruiz. In it he makes an analogy about love. I recommend it as it is at the least an interesting read.





The premise of one chapter is along these lines. If you are literally starving and someone comes along and says. ';Hey, I have this pizza and all you have to do to eat it is to do what I say'; Now that person can control you in all sorts of ways because you need food and you will do anything to get it.





However, if you have your own kitchen and you make beautiful food everyday and share it with friends. In fact, anyone who comes to you hungry never leaves your presence being hungry. At this point, no one can ever come to you and bribe, control or abuse you with something you already have in abundance. You don't need them for food. You have plenty to share. Substitute love for food and you get the idea.





Love is like that. The minute you are truly full of joy and love all by your lonesome, magic things happen. At the very least, no one will ever be able to hurt you or control you with the most powerful emotion we all feel.





Good luck. It sounds like you are having some pain. I hope you see your way through it.
i fell in love with my best friend but he didnt feel the same way. i dont think it was his fault that i fell in love with him, he was just being himself.





and i did accidentally seek other people like him. i realized by doing that, i was actually avoiding potential partners. no 2 people are the same and i doubt you will ever find someone like this girl. keep your eyes open for anyone you may like, even if they're different than this girl. your heart will make the decision of who you like and dont like.





i finally gave up on my best friend and found someone who was a better fit for me than my best friend. ive been with him for 2 years and would never leave him for my best friend.