I need to fall out of love with him.... but how......?

Okay here goes....!





i had a friend who i met six years ago when i was back in college. at the time i had a boyfriend, and the two of them did not get along so i kept well away from im despite the fact he tried on serveal occasions to create converstaions with me .... he looked like a player anyway and as soon as i saw him i knew that he was one of them guys who i could fall for... but seemed as though he would have broken my heart so i totally kept my distance from him.





During my time at college he one day saw me on my way home back from college and gave me a lift home as i lived far away. i accepted... i had broken up with my college boyfriend and was now single. He dropped me home and we wet our seprate ways ... would say hello to each other in the corridor etc.





he would sometimes call me at odd hours of the night but i would never pick up because 1stly it was i had to make some sort of boundary, and secondly i knew that he was dangrous coz i knew i could fall in love with someone like him and he would break my heart.





two years later aftrer leaving college, i was deleting numbers and rang to see if it still worked. it did.... we had a long convo... and from that day hit it off this was in April 2007 he came to see me, pick me up from wrk, etc.... by the end of dec 2007 we admited to each other we liked each other.....





straight away he told me he liked he told me that he was not ready for a realtionship.... which i was cool with as no boundaries had been crossed. i thoaught maybe later something may happen as we would spend a mini of 2 to 4 hours on the phone. he would always txt me and o the days i felt down he would say the right things to pick me up.





feb 2008 he offered to wisk me away on hoilday... i could not go coz i had a uni deadline the very next day he was going away. so i could not go ... i knew that he had taken someone else but, i asked he told me he had taken his best friend.... i knew he hasd lied.. but i did not let iit ge to me, coz we werent dating or doing anything.





i had no right to question him and so leti t go...... ony thing was tht him inviting me to go away with him did give me mixed signals as one min ur not ready for anything serious... and next min u want to take me away on hoilday....:-S a romantic one for two...... hmmmmm but any way i let it go... him doing this made me think was he simply becoming close to me so he could sleep with me.... he was also constantly inviting me to stay the night at his housre to stay the night as i kept on decline as he aint my boyfrien and his not someone im dating his a friend so i didn't really need to make a great effort... as i can see him during the day





anywho i began to think he only wanted me for sex.... then we were in the middle of our very long convos one day when he asked me if i could imagine myself having sex with him.. which i can easily... but then he tells me he finds me sexually attractive but cannot imagine him doing the act...





now come on before u go there u alaways have to see it... this haunted me for the longest time.... it dented my confidence... i know that i am very attractive and he even told me all his friends fancy me.... when i went out with him to a club all his friend tryed to chat me up before they knew it was him i had come with... when they found out they all left me and stared bugging him for my number, he toold all of them that i was already taken.... so this did really play with my head... he had also put them off me and then called me to tell me tha everyone wnted to know who i was etc he then asked me if i was seeing anyone.... tio find out if it was any of his friends... i did not realise till i got off the phone but was angry with myself as i had answered all his questions...... he always told me that none of his friends were allowed to date me despite the fact we never kissed, never had sex or did anything sexually toghter... so if i wanted to i could go coz all really do was talk......however by this point i was falling and did not even realise it.... so everything he said was like gold...





anywho due to this i ended up going to stay over at his... nothing happen.... he had put me offf kinda by saying that... all we did was spoon the whole night.... i also did not make to much a=of an effort as he told me he cannot imagine anything happein so i was looking at him as a friend.....





on going back home i knew i was in love with him......it did not hit me straight awy... as i did not miss him etc it was not until a week later.





i could not hold it in so sent him a long message on facebook telling him that i liked him again.. he put me straight and told me hestill was not into me claiming not to be good enough for me....





so i felt u know this is it.... he has told me this nw my time to go... and since june 08 i have been trying to get over hhim i have cut off all contact everything... it now down to a txt as i care foor him to much to be a friend....





i have one throughI need to fall out of love with him.... but how......?
I can telll by your projection, that IT FELT GOOD to GET THAT OFF UR CHEST, as it should. My that is quite a while you have been ';holding onto'; , the glimmer, of ';what coulda been';. If this situation has caused you to retreat from networking/dating others, it is time for you to ';venture out,,,. Did u say YES ALL TIES CUT, or ur still txting, as ur last line, just fades off to%26gt; ';i have one through............


I worry if you do not process these emotions, you may manifest dis-ease, so finish ur story, so as i can feel the situation more clear.