How do you fall out of love with someone who says they don't love you anymore?

My husband %26amp; I have been married for 6 yrs. and have 2 children. He told me that he doesn't love me anymore and that he doesn't want to be with me. I told him that I can't just unlove him, I told him that if he wanted out that he needs to leave. He refuses to leave though, which makes it really difficult to even try to move on, even though moving on isn't what I want to do. I am so very in love with him, and do not want a divorce. He is very stubborn and refuses to even talk. We have gone through this before, he tells me he doesn't love me on week and ignores me, then the next week he is as nice as can be and says he loves me. Of course I am so in love with him that I believe him. Our marriage is like a rollercoaster up and down. I truly love him and my heart is breaking. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH LOSING HIM AND THE PAIN THAT IT ENTAILS!How do you fall out of love with someone who says they don't love you anymore?
I'm sorry to hear about that. Have you guys possibly considered marriage counseling? I know I am no expert but, it also kinda sounds to me like he may have a psychological dysfunction. Are his current behavioral patterns promanant of his past as well?


There are sevearl psychological ';diseases'; (if you will) that his behavior characterises, most of which are simply chemical embalances within the brain. If that be the case, he can take medication to help stabalize his moods.


There could also be other factors contributing to his behavior, take a moment and think about things that have changed since you first met and married. In most cases, marriage troubles are tied directly tied to lack of sexual communication.


There are many things that could be the root of his change in mind. I would recommend, if at all possible, to start off with marriage counseling before terminating what was once a blissful marriage and happy family.


Please also be sure to reassure your children that they are loved and are not to blame for any change in mommy and daddy's state. You sound like a very wonderful person, and loving wife so I do not even need to stress the importance of looking after the fragile minds of your children.


I wish you nothing but the best in your marriage and future. Just remember, you are not any less of a woman if you are not with him. If, in the end, divorce is what comes from it... there are amazing suppourt groups out there to help you get on your feet and understand how to best handle these scary times.How do you fall out of love with someone who says they don't love you anymore?
If he's done this before, you should really consider asking yourself if you truly love him, or you love the idea of him? Basically, the idea of not being alone, as most people find they do.


Chances are it will continue like this for years, or as long as you let it, and won't end until one of you leaves.


This is coming from my own personal horrid experience being in your place, and it would've been MUCH easier on my son if I had left while he was younger too.


I wish you luck, it's not easy, but if you wait too long, not only will you fall out of love, but you'll wind up hating him for the mind game control-freak crap he's pulling.
Sounds like he is cheating. Years ago I had an extra-marital affair, which thankfully my wife forgave me for. Anyway I dealt with her in a similar way. I told her I needed space and some time away. Sounds like he is torn in the same way. I hope for your sake I'm wrong, but your heart will mend with time and everyone has it in them to survive relationship. In the long run it would be better for you and the kids.
this sounds like my parents.. except my mom left my dad because she wanted to find someone who she felt like she did love. i'd like to suggest marriage counselling. it may reveal some deeper psychological problems that he may have.





best of luck
You don't fall out of love, you grow out of love. Move on. Most of life involves pain and you need to learn to accept it.
Sounds like he's possibly cheating...Even if he's not cheating, he seems to be acting immature and/or undecided about the issue %26amp; this is serious.





If you really want to move on %26amp; he won't leave, depending what the living arrangements are, you may have to leave him. You cannot unlove but you can move on and being under the same roof won't make it easy.





Don't EVER say that you aren't strong enough because you ARE strong %26amp; can do much better. Hell, to have dealt w/ him this long shows the strength you possess (ha).





As a matter of fact... ..., show him the strength you possess - Take control of the problem %26amp; solve it yourself.





Best wishes to a happier future.
Have you gone to counseling? If he won't go, it might help you to go. He sounds like he has trouble with intimacy maybe??
Hey take a break.it cannot be like one week u love someone and next week say you dont.You need to make it he loves you everyweek.why dont u try to stay apart for some time. then he will be calling you back .Dont worry u wont lose him.u need to be tough for some time.


Only when somebody is not there with you everyday then u realise the value of that person.it works all the time.
it may seem hard now but think of all the grief you will save yourself by getting over it
Sounds like he is bi-polar or cheating. i would check him into a therapy session for sure or leave him if he won't go - what mental abuse you are going through - so sorry!
get rid of him and the rollercoaster ride will end. He is abusing you mentally and i am certain this is not a good environment for your children and you as well.
It takes time to get over a loving someone and losing that love. Since there are kids involved, I would try to get him to agree to counseling. There may be another woman. You are going to be tied with him for the next 20 years or so because of the kids, but if he is set on a divorce, you should try to find things to do to take your mind off of him and get on with your life. It is summer, so do lots of stuff with the kids. Go out with friends and have some fun. This guy is playing games with you to keep you chained to him. Eventually he is going to dump you, unless he agrees to go to counseling and is serious about making your marriage work, I would get on with my life. Best of luck!!
A shotgun to the throat.
Pray, listen and talk. In that order.
He is messing with your mind !! If he really wanted it to be over and he did not care for you he would move out. Let me ask you something during this time when he said he did not love you did he go out with his friends. My husband used to do that crap with me when he wanted to be with his friends on the weekend-every Thursday he didn't love me and on Monday he did. He just gonna keep on messing with your mind too. After awhile it has an awful effect on you-believe me.
Considering his behavior to you it sounds like he is or has had an affair!! He will most likely never admit to this!! 99% of people never change they only mask for a while!! So its up to you if you think you can deal with being treated like that the REST of your life!! Ive also noticed that with time usually attitudes get worse!!
You cannot make him feel something he doesn't feel. It's too bad that he doesn't seem to have enough respect for you, your children or even himself to do something about this. It certainly doesn't seem fair that he can now hold you hostage by not leaving thus allowing you both to move on; or by trying to save the marriage for everyone's sake. Maybe you should speak with a marriage counselor, on your own, to see what advice they might have. Don't be surprised if the advice is to consult with a divorce attorney.


If you can't handle the idea of leaving him then I guess this is how you will live until he gets bored with it and walks out. What a fine environment for the children. Does he really not care that his children are learning how to treat other people by watching and emulating him? He is being a lazy, selfish, manipulative loser.


I certainly hope that you can find a way to love yourself and your children enough to find a solution to your husband's problem that won't drag the three of you down with him.


Honey, he needs to grow up and you need to grow ';a set'; and stop putting up with the kind of emotional abuse that he is so fond of dishing out. Nobody can save you and your children but you.